RECOIL:GUNS AND REGRETS

chapter 1:oscar
my first job
it was as if someone had hit me real hard on my face..everything was out of focus .time moved very slowly.and as i took another drag .it felt as if the entire world seemed a cheer full place.thoughts of hope and happiness came swirling to my brain ,swirled some more and then rested at a placid state as the rest of my body
“enough kid,he he…your hogging the entire stuff.Hand it over.You still got more time to enjoy a entire joint”.i tried passing what was left of the beedi to him.but my hand swayed .laughing loudly the guy grabbed my arm and slowly picked the beedi .he puffed hard at it ,and in a few drags it was all gone.I sat there with this overwhelming feeling of immense ,unreasoned pleasure surging through my body.The thought of going home struck some very trained neuron in my brain…reminding me of home..it was now 8pm.I was 2 hours late for home.i realised that this very depressing though had no effect on me.I felt as cheerful as ever.then my thoughts drifted to what quarrels my folks would get into today.What china might break.is the T.V going to be toppled again….and then i began laughing out aloud.I tried to suppress this but i could not ,these memories of daily occurrences made me depressed usually,even to the point of suicidal behaviour.but now i could not stop laughing.at the very things that had plagued my life and made it a living hell.as tears rolled down my face ,i was still laughing like a lunatic.and at the corner of my eye i could see the young lad watching my actions very intently with a constant warm smile on his face…as if i was a lab rat and he the scientist who had conducted a very successful experiment.
“what did i tell you.its magic Lil brother”he said ,placing his hand over my shoulder.but i wasn't listening to him.In my head swimming somewhere in the deep recess of my conscience ,i had accepted a solution to my problems a very destructive one…….but a solution none the less…….